Ever since I can remember, I wanted to feel loved.
To feel seen. To feel as though I mattered. To be welcomed. To belong.
Growing up and for a long time afterward I didn’t feel any of those things.
It was really painful
My biggest heart wound
Something like this changes our lives in a big way
I laid awake at night as a child with my heart hurting wondering what I had done wrong.
Wondering what I could do to fix things, to feel better, make the pain go away.
My solution, though it wasn’t a conscious decision was to try harder. To be nicer, to try harder to please the people around me. To make them happy, so that they would be nicer to me. To put everyone else’s needs first if it meant that I would feel I belonged.
I turned myself inside out doing this for years, but it only led to me feeling worse about me as I gave away pieces of myself more and more.
And the heart wound went unhealed and got worse and worse.
Wound whispers infiltrated everything and so the story I told myself about myself became more and more tainted.
I began making poor choices based on that story.
But eventually a time went on and the pain just became worse, I knew I needed to find another way to end the pain. I started to listen to the guidance that had been trying to come through for so long. And I began reading, studying and learning about religions and spirituality. I found teachers.
I found different friends with similar interests who were more positive and caring.
They were different from my family and former friends, they saw and appreciated who I really was. I began taking back all those little bits of me I had been giving away.
If it hadn’t been for the wounding, I might never have gone looking and found all the goodness. I might not have learned to love myself.
We can’t always put new ideas into practice right away. It takes a while after we understand it in theory to apply it, at least it did for me. For some it may come sooner, the timeline is different for each of us. I continued wanting the love and all that comes with to come from outside for a while.
At times I still do, and it does, much more than before. But I don’t need it to I’m able to give it to myself.
Now I can see me clearly through my own eyes and embrace all of who I am.
A deep desire to help others came out of that wounding and pain. And a deep understanding of others wounding. So, I’m good at sharing light with others because I had to find my own.
Know that if any of this sounds familiar, whatever happened to you, doesn’t have to define you. You can always choose again. You may have been given a gift, you simply need to unwrap it.
Sending you so much love,
I'm available to work with you privately Find out more Here
We are interesting beings, created with amazing capabilities, yet wired by our biology toward a negative mental focus. Once upon a time this kept you and i safe from predators. Now it mostly causes anxiety.
We lean toward what is wrong with.the world, our lives, ourselves. We spend so little time seeing the good, far less savoring it, focusing on it, or embracing it.
It's so much easier, more natural to marinate in the injustices, the wrongs. But oh how wonderful when we make the choice to fervently savor what is right!
This shift in emphasis, the graceful appreciation of what at first glance appears mundane, has stunning results. A change of perspective, the embrace of simple beauties becomes more than meaningful for us, and our lives.
Beautiful french doors were gifted to me not too long ago. I rarely notice them now. Beautiful in themselves, they invite me to the view of a mystical forest in my backyard. A view I disregard much of the time.
Recently one early morning the sun slanted down in a particularly enchanted way. I thought 'how beautiful' But only for a millisecond. As usual, I was off to more important tasks. But this time I stopped, paused, took a breath.
And saw it as though for the first time. And kept looking and looking.
It changed the perspective of my morning, actually my entire day. Relishing those few moments brought me to a space of feeling deep appreciation, a sense of being blessed. It really felt magical. Only minutes before I had been steeped in what wasn't working, what could be different, what should be different.
Now I saw everything through a whole new light.
Hello Sweet Friend, I wonder if you've done this too. I've spent a lot of my life asking “why” this or that happened to me, while also thinking and feeling that it should not have happened.
I recently realized I had been blaming people and life, fighting against something or someone for a long, long time. I was resisting life again and again, and by doing that I was keeping those experiences ever present.
Instead of blaming, resisting, and feeling powerless, I can remind myself that I don’t have to continue thinking the painful thoughts. I can consciously choose to create something instead. “What will I create next?” is a much more powerful thought.
It might be an idea for a painting, or my blog, or another offering for the site. What you want to create will probably be different than mine, but it doesn’t matter, it’s about the choice to create as a Practice.
Choosing to create isn’t just choosing what we want to do, it’s also who we want to "be". We're all choosing who we want to be in each moment. I want to be a creator, rather than a victim of circumstance. It’s a choice for how I want to experience life.
I can choose to be the one who creates, rather than the one who endures
I haven't mastered this completely, it's a process, as so much of life is, and that’s fine. It’s a Practice that has brought me so much more peace and fulfillment, something I will continue to work with without the need for perfection.
Christianrose, with love
Life is hard for us all sometimes. I've written this for you for those times life just feels like it’s “too much”, so file it away somewhere on your computer so you’ll have it to refer to when life feels harsh. And if that describes your life at the moment, If I’m sorry for the pain you might be feeling, I wish life were lovelier right now.
But I know you can get through this, and there is so much goodness on the other side of it. Even when we are feeling afraid, broken, disappointed, we can decide to slow down, breathe and find some goodness.
We get to choose how we want to feel
Despite all the things, all the bad stuff, we get to make the choice over and over again to find, to re-discover the good in our lives.
We don’t need to let circumstances determine our thoughts and feelings.
We don’t need to wait till life is our rendition of perfect to feel good.
Should we wait for life to become perfect and predictable to feel good?
When we don’t allow others to push our buttons, or circumstances to control our emotions and behavior, we take our power back.
Our emotions don’t own us, we can make a different choice!
When we choose to change our perceptions, our thoughts change, our feelings change, everything changes.
Sometimes it’s really hard to find the good, I know, but it’s there. It may be very basic things, very mundane, but it’s more than we may realize and … it’s good.
I can remember being homeless with my children, because I had to run from their abusive father years ago to keep us safe, we left everything behind, and I remember promising the Universe that in the future if we could be safe, I would be grateful to just have “normal” problems. Many years later I sometimes need to remind myself of that promise.
When we experience challenges we learn to become more resilient and it's an opportunity to connect with our intuition for guidance.
We always have the choice of who we want to be.
I would never minimize your situation, but I've learned through difficulty that how I choose to think changes everything.
For instance; Not thinking of myself as a victim and realizing my resilience
I’ve lived for a long time with anxiety, but when I feel myself moving into it, I choose to be aware and become present to the feeling. I remind myself that I have the power to move into a higher space , that there are answers, that there is love....... always.
So when life feel harsh try this simple ways to lift your energetic vibration, they will help you to tune into your guidance;
Pause and breathe, it's simple but effective
Rest when you can
Look for simple beauty and let your soul savor it
Look for what is good now
Draw, doodle, color, let your emotions flow, it’s a good way to find inner direction too.
And most of all ! Be gentle with yourself, even when life is harsh, you don’t need to be
Wishing you love and beauty in your life. May it be so.
Want to work with me? Find out more Here
So often we judge ourselves because we think we should be constantly achieving a goal. “Doing” all the time. We expect so much of ourselves, damning ourselves if we don’t check off all the things on our daily “to do” list. Trying to prove our worth to ourselves and others by constant striving to meet all the expectations we’ve set.
In the past I felt that I was procrastinating when I actually really did need rest. So now I’m learning to choose the most important things I really need to focus on for the day and do the best I can with the other things on my list. I feel a sense of relief just writing that!
Let’s remind ourselves, often, of what we have already accomplished. Remembering that being “enough’ isn’t ever tied to how much we accomplish. Let’s savor the slowness instead of reveling in the rushing.
A gentle life journey is one we don’t want to rush through. When we’re in the midst of a whirlwind, we can’t feel the soft gentle breeze that softens the hard places.
Rediscover Your Light
And Live A Life You Love!
Hello Sweet Friend,I’m Christianrose. an Intuitive Visionary.
I share what lights me up through intuitive work and art.
I believe the light inside you guides you to who were meant to be.
I see your light and
want to support you in lighting up your world.
I offer a monthly Intuitive Circle , Intuitive Sessions and Healing Creative Practices to support you .
A Guide to Emotional Healing"
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